I’m starting this blog both as a response to my need to verify that God is still working wonders in my life beyond my memoir, “From Mafia Princess to God’s Princess”; and to keep an up to date account of the daily struggles, miracles, and testimonies associated with having surrendered my life to full time ministry as I have since January 2010. Every blog I will endeavor to focus on some particular "bright spot", thus the title; something special to distinguish this day from every other and to trace the progress of this frail pilgrim.
It’s never easy trusting God! (Amen???) It’s one thing to believe in God, and quite another to trust Him with the minute by minute, play by play, details of my life. Since I quit my job at the church I find myself more and more wanting to second guess whether or not I really heard from God about all this full time ministry stuff. But every time, and I do mean every time I go in that direction, the Lord sends me a blaring message to reassure me that I am exactly where He wants me to be. And reiterates the same message to me again, that I can’t make the assumption that He’s not blessing me based purely on my outward or intrinsic expectations. Rather, I’m trying to, during these times, take an accounting of the real blessings and am, as a result, garnering a true sense of what it really means to trust. After all, trust is not something one can see. Well, let me qualify that. It’s not something I can see. But it’s something God can see, (or not see), in me.
I must keep reminding myself of how, when I was married to Tony, (the mobster), I had everything I wanted, but nothing that I needed. And I sure didn't need God. I was, in point of fact, miserable. Now I have everything I need and quite a few of the things I want, like this computer I’m writing on. I ate today, (Praise God!), and have clothes to wear. And although there’s several feet of snow piled up outside my window, I’m typing this from the warmth of my dry home. So, you see, I don’t have to think very long or hard to be grateful. It is, I‘ve found, in gratitude to the Giver that my faith and trust are demonstrated to the fullest.
I watched a show the other day about a family, somewhere in the world, whose drinking water is so putrid they are constantly ill. One little boy in the home was semi-comatose because of it. The mother said that whenever he rallied, they would give him the same water and he would relapse.
My life is not so bad. Thank you, Lord, for what I have and also for what I have not.
Proverbs 3: 5,6
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