Day One--The reLAX Lounge

It’s been a strange week indeed. To kick things off, on Saturday the whole family was infected with a vicious 24 hour stomach bug. I say 24 hour, but the after effects are almost equally debilitating. It was highly contagious and tormented the four of us not simultaneously but, rather, in perfect succession (I had the Monday-Tuesday shift). This wouldn’t have ordinarily thrown my world off kilter but, in light of all my Pakistan preparations, it was a case of inconsiderate planning on the part of the bug. By Wednesday I was feeling much better and began a nonstop packing frenzy that didn’t end until Joe and I left for El Paso on Friday afternoon, where we met with Pastor Dan and then rushed off to buy gifts for our new friends in Lahore, (there are no such stores in Cloudcroft.) I was finally able to rest assured that I was as prepared as possible for our flight the following morning.
When we arrived at the ticket counter there was a huge line and it turned out the trip to Houston had been cancelled. There were tornadoes in the area. I went through an array of reactions, chief of which was indignation. “An act of God”, everyone kept saying. Act of God indeed! Why had God opened all the doors only to close them now at the airline ticket counter? I sat with all our luggage as Joe continued to creep up the line to speak to an actual person.
The next emotion to bubble up in me was pride. Much ado about nothing! How would this make me look? (Funny how in an instant the greatest intentions can suddenly turn completely inward…)
Then I remembered the bracelet Sonia had given me with these words of Jesus, “With faith the size of a mustard seed nothing will be impossible for you”, and the prayers I’d asked at for at Bible study to increase my own atom sized faith. It’s almost as if I could hear God say “Would a good Father give his daughter a stone instead of bread? You asked for bread, here it is.”
Faith is a lovely thing to idealize, but not such an easy thing to receive. It’s the sort of thing that is carved, and not gradually. This trip to Pakistan had never been about me. It will never be about me. It was and has always been His doing to serve His purposes.
Once I remembered that God has the privilege of changing His mind and His plans if He so chooses, a sweet calm encased me. I was truly content to stay or go, resting in the assurance that whatever He decided would be the best option. I was ashamed at having admonished God. For placing my interests above His.
As we were leaving the airport, after having been told that no other flight out of El Paso would be possible for several days, Joe decided, on a lark, to give the ticket counter another try.
God gave me exactly what I needed, I’m thinking as I wait in the re-LAX lounge at the Los Angeles International airport . Not the seamless trip I’d planned and hoped for, and not the kind of faith that is needed to move mountains, perhaps. But, I was honestly able, during that chaotic morning last, to trust in the Lord with all my heart and lean not on my own understanding. No matter what else happens from this day forward, that was His gift to me.
We’re about to board a plane to Dubai and then on to Lahore. We lost one day but are still on track. I just hope I stay on track.